Why We Bite

Boom Noodle has become somewhat of an emblem of the rampant gentrification of Capitol Hill. The restaurant is a yuppie magnet, complete with its pan-asian leanings and its ultra-modern choice of decor. But despite the restaurant sticking out like a sore thumb amongst the dank bars and venues that dominate Pike St, Boom Noodle does well for itself and seems to be packed on a nightly basis.

I’ve always reasoned that a clever restaurateur could open up a ramen/udon type place in the heart of Seattle and become local heroes. It wouldn’t have to be anything fancy, just large, visible and traditional. Samurai Noodle’s working on the first two points, but until that U-district shop opens up I’ll still be looking for the noodle shop of my dreams. When I first saw the “Boom Noodle coming soon” signs, I was incredibly excited, thinking that my prayers had been answered. Alas, this is not the case.

The recurring theme for Boom Noodle is that a lot of what they do “sounds good on paper.” The ideas, both culinary and design-wise, make a lot of sense initially, but are executed in a clumsy fashion that removes all appeal. And the flaws should’ve been apparent to anyone, but seem to be intentionally unaddressed for the sake of style. It’s not one simple mistake after another, but rather it’s an innate flaw with the general philosophy of Boom Noodle.

For instance, the bench seating makes sense as an homage to traditional ramen spaces in Japan, with it’s close-quarters seating, rubbing elbows with your fellow patron as you suck back a bowl of noodles. But, this is not a crowded ramen shack, rather this is a large, almost auditorium sized space. Removing the functional bench seating from its natural context strips the design of its charm, transforming what once was a necessary construct of the small ramen shop into an encumbrance, a unintentionally heinous plan to stuff the maximum amount of customers in a space so that profits are maximized and service is compromised.

I will, however, eat in a dimly lit upside down garbage can if the food is fantastic. Great style and great food aren’t always found in the same package, as the bulk of Chinatown will attest. But as I said before, there is something incredibly unintelligent about the way Boom Noodle chooses to execute pretty much anything they do, and that includes the food.

I knew I was in trouble when I tasted these appetizers, soy sauce marinated eggs. Being Chinese, I’ve had my share of soy sauce soaked eggs. The tang of a hardboiled egg-white infused with soy sauce is irresistible to me. But these eggs don’t taste like they’ve been marinated, more like they’ve been browned slightly, like some oriental easter egg hunt. Though the presentation is nice, they lack in any sort of distinctive flavor.

This yakisoba looked and tasted like the DIY yakisoba on the shelf of the grocery store. The sauce was thick and overbearing, and the ingredients were par for the course. Simply unremarkable, but expensive.

Sure, these salmon slices look pretty, but again Boom Noodle left the flavor on the kitchen counter when they sent these out. Slightly seared, with sea salt and some ponzu, they went down quickly but were instantly forgotten.

Someone needs to explain to them that the cold silky tofu you get at an izakaya isn’t just unpacked, cubed and sent out. I actually like the stack of veggies (bamboo shoot, shiitake, seaweed), but the tofu itself is crumbly and cold. But the real crime on this plate is the inclusion of a really classless peanut sauce. Tofu served like this is supposed to let the clean, refreshing quality of bean curd mix with the crisp earthiness of the fresh garnish. What better way to emphasize that then include a dirty, heavy sauce that completely nullifies whatever else you were trying to do!

The Costco samples lady serves better gyoza.

These noodles were the best presented dish of the evening, the dinner ware and the serving cups were all very appealing to look at and use. Even though the noodles weren’t true soba noodles (they were more like rice noodles), the dish was edible and satisfying. I’m not a big nitpicker when it comes to the true identity of noodles, I know where to get authentic soba if I want it.

The okonomiyaki had too much pickled ginger on top. Eating it was not the most pleasant experience; I quickly became disenchanted with the dish after picking at it for about 5 minutes. The hot peppers were an interesting feature but again, felt out of place and the dish was not well conceived as a whole. Also, it gave me some stomach pain about a hour later.

The ramen took way too long to get to our table (about an hour and a half), considering what was in the soupy broth. It was a standard ramen bowl with soy egg, pork cutlet, seaweed and noodles. You can get this bowl plus more noodles and some condiments at Samurai Noodle for around 7.00 (and that’s expensive I think!). Here at Boom Noodle it’s around ten dollars. That’s unheard of for something this basic. It’s not this expensive in Japan, even! Just your ordinary, overpriced yuppie bowl.

This dessert was the best part of the whole meal. Mango pudding with a sesame brittle flake, really classy and tasty to boot. It’s too bad that they can’t make an entrée to save their life.

So as far as the trip to Boom Noodle goes, I feel like it was a success at least journalistically, if not gastronomically. I’m not surprised that it was started by the Blue C sushi people. I can’t really explain why anyone would want to eat there unless they were curious to the point of masochism or simply ignorant. Why We Bite: eating there so you don’t have to.

PS: Sorry for the terrible pictures. If someone wants to be a photographer for a meal (and could give me the pics quickly / host them somewhere), I’d really appreciate it and would probably pay for your food too (don’t hold me to that).