Dante’s Nachos

March 19, 2008

I do not come here to praise these nachos. At best they are good nachos, greasy and temporarily fulfilling coupled with regret the following day. At worst, they’re unappetizingly soft on the top and unnaturally crusty and hard on the bottom, flavorless in between. But hey, they’re nachos, and they’re in the u-district. What do you expect?

However, it is the condiments served with the nachos that has my mind reeling. Dante’s features the only guacamole I know that is completely flavorless! By flavorless I don’t mean bland. Bland is a flavor. And it’s not watered down. Water has flavor. Even the saliva in your mouth has a flavor. This sauce has no flavor! It is like a big mouthful of cold creamy nothing. And if you eat it with a nacho chip, the nacho chip’s flavors simply disappear as well. I once asked the bartender what the guac was from and he said it was a doctored mix. But doctored with what…? Magic flavor canceling pixie dust?

My friends now say that the guacamole actually tastes better, and there was this one time where the nachos were unworldly rather than a petty crime against mealtime. But like a Mystery Spot, or The Worlds Largest Ball of Twine, Dante’s deserves to be noted for it’s Black Hole of Tastiness.


Hopvine on 15th

March 6, 2008

So the semi-strange thing about this blog right now is that there’s these two groups of people (theoretically) reading this. One is very familiar with all the stuff I’m talking about in Seattle, at least the stuff on 15th and Broadway and anywhere within walking distance of where I live. The other predominantly lives on the eastside. Inevitably, I’m going to probably talk about places that you know or don’t like or whatever and that’s fine. I’m going to talk about what places I like to eat at from time to time, and what I get when I go there. I’m not trying to be Anthony Bourdain here.

Hopvine Pub

On that thought, I’m going to talk about the Hopvine on 15th. Not because I eat there a lot, but because I ate there recently. I had a craving for soup and a sandwich the other night, so a roommate and I went down there to eat a little something something. It was pretty empty (I think it was a Monday night), even during happy hour.

They have a rotating soup list and a rotating beer list. Everything else is pretty much the same every time I go. Consistency is good! It’s good to get what you expect from a place. I’ve been there a few times before, and I tend to enjoy their soups. But their French Onion Soup is a sodium A-bomb, so stay away from that unless you like peeing crystals.

This time, I got a cup of the Roasted Garlic.

Roasted Garlic

And I got a Smoked Gouda w/ Artichoke sandwich. Side of greens with a vinegarette.

Gouda

My cohort got a turkey grinder.

Turkey Grinder

Beers were 2.75 a pint. I got some IPA, I forget which one exactly.

Hey! This is a great spot to ask if anyone wants to talk about beer. It would be great if there was someone reading this right now who would love to talk about beer as much as I love to talk about food. I’m not talking about an elitist beer-hater. I don’t need someone to tell me why X brewery sucks. If you wanna post semi-regularly about beer leave a comment or something (or just find me since you probably know who I am). I’m probably going to have a couple people contributing to this blog as it grows, and a designated beer reporter would be a good addition.

The soup was great, a warm creamy concoction with a good amount of garlic and a cheese surprise at the bottom. Some bread on the side and some croutons floating on top and I’m set. The sandwich I think is a little overpriced, but I’m a sucker for artichoke. An $8 cheese and artichoke sandwich seems a bit steep to me, but it goes well with the soup so what can I say really. The greens are unremarkable.

Now if you look at the online city guides for Seattle, you’ll notice that an overwhelming amount of them talk about the issues of “clientele” and “atmosphere” when they’re denouncing some establishment. I’m not oblivious to things like that; a bad atmosphere (be it from the people who eat there or from Seattle in general) can ruin a meal. But honestly, in a world with the Outback steakhouse and T.G.I.Friday’s, I’m not going to bitch about how the people at the Hopvine seem to be getting more wealthy every time I go. There are tons of yuppies in Seattle. They’re everywhere. And they’re going to eat where I eat. That’s fine with me. I’m eating without the politics, unless the restaurant chooses to make the clientele part of the dining experience (more on that when I finally get to Boom Noodle).

But anyways, the Hopvine. It’s got good soups and decent food. Somewhat pricey, but go for happy hour and get a beer to offset the cost. Service was just fine. They have Celebration Ale on tap sometimes! I love Celebration Ale. There’s also a trivia night on alternating Tuesdays, but I think it’s a cash pot so it’s pretty busy.

Soup, Sandwich, Salad side, Beer. $16 after tip? I forget. Somewhere around there. About an hour for the meal. Go with a friend, maybe two, but don’t go with more than four. This isn’t a restaurant! Your food will take a long time to make.